Interestingly, people are very bad at predicting what will make them happy. This could be from what we grew up watching on TV or in movies, the impact of social media, or one of many other influences throughout our lives. Regardless of the reason, when we use unrealistic predictions for setting goals, the one thing we do know is we are setting ourselves up to fail.
To keep from falling into the Expectation vs. Reality Trap, follow these steps to stay grounded in the present and mindful of how much of a challenge you are aiming to create:
Awareness – Becoming aware of what your expectations are is the first step towards deciding how to adjust them. If you feel disappointed or frustrated, this is a sign your expectations do not match your reality. Pause and reflect on what you wanted, what influenced that desire, and if it is realistic.
Gratitude – Regularly appreciating what you have and your current health and abilities is a great way to stay grounded in the present. This will not only help you to savor the moment but set expectations that are more realistic to where you are today.
Values Recognition – If you haven’t made time recently to reflect on what matters the most to you, now may be a good time to do a values inventory. When you live your life making decisions based on what inspires and motivates you, your expectations will naturally become more realistic.
Stop Comparing – Judging yourself based on the lifestyles and abilities of others has been shown to lead to not only a negative self-image but a decrease in overall happiness. Become aware of when you are setting expectations based on what others have versus what you truly want.
Accept “Good Enough” – Perfectionism is not realistic, no matter how much we want to achieve it. Getting comfortable with good enough can go a long way towards setting realistic expectations.
Manage Your Fear – Often our unrealistic expectations from a place of fear. This could mean you need to work with a therapist or develop a mindfulness practice to learn about and manage your fear. Making time to find what works for you to keep your fear under control will help you to set better goals.
Any or all of these are a great way to begin to work towards setting realistic expectations and empowering you to live your best life. If you want to learn more about how health coaching could help you to learn to set more realistic expectations, schedule an inquiry call today to talk with our coach, Erika Zink.
Sources:
- Colombo, D., Fernández-Álvarez, J., Suso-Ribera, C., Cipresso, P., García-Palacios, A., Riva, G., & Botella, C. (2020). Biased Affective Forecasting: A Potential Mechanism That Enhances Resilience and Well-Being. Frontiers in Psychology, 11.
https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.01333
- How to Manage Your Expectations vs Reality. (n.d.). Verywell Mind. Retrieved July 18, 2022, from https://www.verywellmind.com/expectation-vs-reality-trap-4570968
